And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
