yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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