he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
