Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Will you blow on my dice?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
