What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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