i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
