i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
