If that was your dad, he is hot
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize