remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize