she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
