When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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