its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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