After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
