Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
