Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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