i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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