Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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