i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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