He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
