I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
