I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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