Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize