The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Your penis caused this!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize