We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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