Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
