CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
