You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
