a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
