its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
