So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
