this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If I die, sorry about rent.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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