one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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