Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
