Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
