Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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