Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
