guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
