Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
