Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
