Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm passing your future prison.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
