Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hippo gnu deer
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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