I think my vagina is haunted
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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