I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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