Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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