He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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