my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
