I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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