Sry I called you an 8
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
