I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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