They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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