Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
