We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
