Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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