Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
