How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
