It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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