Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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