not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
