I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
